003: A pointless drive, colourful wallpaper, and a song that describes everything I want in this life.
Also: a house that made me rethink my (very negative) stance on the colour purple
Confession:
This week’s newsletter isn’t falling out of me like the first few. Not even close. It’s 10pm on Thursday night and I’m sitting here with a bowl of roasted peanuts with honey drizzled on them because it’s my highest self that I send to the grocery store so that the version of myself with lower self control doesn’t eat a bunch of crap right before going to bed. This results in some very questionable evening snack choices (Exhibit A described above). Also I ran out of peanut butter today and can confirm I’d be eating it out of the jar (still accompanied by the honey) right about now if I hadn’t used it on a rice cake earlier. Now that we’ve gotten my weird SSB: Snack Confessions Edition™ out of the way, let’s talk about more interesting things.
Explore without purpose
This week I’ve felt myself reconnecting to my creativity in a deeper way than I have in what feels like a very long time. And by creativity, I mean the kind that comes from that quiet place inside that needs an at least somewhat regulated nervous system to feel safe enough to come play. We’re getting reacquainted and it’s really nice.
I noticed it last weekend when, after dropping my BFF off after our Saturday morning coffee date, I found myself taking an unexpected turn onto a (plowed) side road in the snow. There weren’t many cars on the road so I took it slow, soaking in the snow covered trees and marveling at the contrast between the red sand on the road and the white blanket covering everything else. I had thrown my camera in the car with me that morning; I guess something in me knew I was in the mood to meander.
I felt a sense of serene peace and extreme, vibrational joy all at once. I was entirely charmed by the sight of a perfectly purple house on a hill in the middle of seemingly nowhere; an intersection with a stop sign that appeared out of the blue with a house on each of the four corners, one of which was the loveliest shade of lavender. I squealed with delight when I came upon a field of horses munching on hay while snowflakes gently fell. I didn’t turn on music or listen to a podcast. I didn’t care that my out of province license plate likely elicited eye rolls from locals wondering what on earth I was doing pulled over with my camera out and my four-ways on. I tried to find the local buffalo herd on my way home - no luck, will try again - and I realized that I hadn’t allowed myself to explore without purpose in a very long time. Consider this your sign to try it sometime - I can’t recommend it enough.
A song that describes everything I want in this life
Tonight after dinner my aforementioned bff played me a song on her phone. My tolerance for this sort of thing is generally low; I have auditory sensitivity issues that can quickly turn me into a truly terrible human being (if you dare scroll through your Instagram with the sound on in my presence you’ll come to experience this side of me in no time) and the sound of a song played from a phone without a speaker is high on my list of things I’d rather not put up with for long. HOWEVER. The lyrics immediately captivated me and I proceeded to listen to it on repeat on my drive home (fyi, it plays exactly 4.5 times between our houses. I highly recommend living this close to at least one person you love a lot - a beautiful privilege I have had for most of my entire life).
Memorizing the lyrics of this song is now my short term mission in life. This song is four years old but I don’t listen to country music like, ever, so I’m late to the game but humour me anyways will you?
Crowded Table by The Highwomen | Listen here ⬅️ / Lyrics here ⬇️
You can hold my hand / When you need to let go /I can be your mountain / When you're feeling valley-low / I can be your streetlight / Showing you the way home / If you can hold my hand / When you need to let go
I want a house with a crowded table / And a place by the fire for everyone / Let us take on the world while we're young and able / And bring us back together when the day is done
If we want a garden / We're gonna have to sow the seed / Plant a little happiness /Let the roots run deep / If it's love that we give / Then it's love that we reap / If we want a garden / We're gonna have to sow the seed
Yeah, I want a house with a crowded table / And a place by the fire for everyone / Let us take on the world while we're young and able / And bring us back together when the day is done
The door is always open / Your picture's on my wall / Everyone's a little broken / And everyone belongs / Yeah, everyone belongs
URL Things I Loved This Week
If you listen to one podcast episode about digital marketing, let it be this one
If you read one poem, let it be this one
Or this one (read both)
Deep cleaning my Pinterest and creating my own pins for the first time ever
IRL Things I Loved This Week
Staying in bed til it’s light outside
Almond croissants
This cozy fleece I just purchased and haven’t taken off since
Finding myself so mesmerized by waves lapping the shore that I almost fell over.
Colourful wallpaper samples that arrived in the mail
Friends who put up with my random life updates via voice note, exhibit A:
A quote I’m keeping close
The healer doesn’t go around telling people that they are a healer. They just are. The witch doesn’t hop over the hedge to prove she’s a witch. She just is. The medicine man doesn’t explain why the medicine cures. It just does. The shaman doesn’t claim to connect heaven and earth. It just happens.
The way you alchemize a soulless world into a sacred world is to treat everyone as if they are sacred until the sacred in them remembers.
- Unknown
Til next week,
ilysm. xo Heather